The holidays can be a difficult time reminding you of better years when the family was still together. It is sometimes helpful to take a vacation during the holidays to get away from painful triggers and escape the stress of cooking and cleaning, questions from well-meaning relatives and friends, decorating, going to parties alone, etc. Your children should be told that the holidays will be a happy time and you will make new memories. For examples of how to create new family traditions, check out a book by Jann Blackstone-Ford and Sharyl Jupe called Ex-Etiquette for Holidays and Other Family Celebrations . The authors' book on how to handle the holidays is practical and thorough. Make sure that you think about your child's best interests in making your plans. Be respectful of your ex's rituals and traditions and try not to speak ill of your ex-spouse or his family, or or anyone else for that matter.
Emphasize for the children that they will be celebrating with both parents and that the important thing is being together, not necessarily on a certain day. Just be sure to avoid giving your younger child the power to make the decision as to with which parent she or he will be during certain celebrations. That could make him or her feel guilty.
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